The Hardest Day of the Year

My wife and I have been through a lot of crap in our time. This blog has documented my most recent battle with PSC, and my second liver transplant. I have also touched on my first liver transplant from PSC, as well as having to have my colon removed due to Ulcerative Colitis. That would be more then enough for two people to handle. But there is more.

I have also mentioned that my wife is a two time cancer survivor. No one should have to deal with that once, let alone twice. You would think that we have had more then our fair share.

The fact of the matter is that there is more. It is a battle we have been fighting for more then five years, and are still losing. It is every bit as hard as the other battles we have fought and won, but in a different way. This battle is beating us down emotionally. It is the battle to start a family of our own.

We have been dealing with issues of infertility for more then five years. For reasons too long and complicated to explain here, we cannot have children of our own. It is not from lack of trying though (That is not what I mean. Get your head out of the gutter!).

Over the years, we have gone through three cycles of in vitro fertilization, all unsuccessful. We have tried a variety of variables as well. We have used donor eggs and surrogates. We have traveled to Los Angles and Las Vegas to meet with some the most highly renowned endocrinologists in the world. We have tried state of at art medical techniques. Nothing has worked.

Which is what makes today, Mother's Day, the hardest of the year. The one thing we want more then anything to have a child. On today, the day in which we celebrate and recognize our Mother's, we are flooded with reminders of how we do not a child.

We are now in the process of trying to adopt. A process that has been ongoing for over a year, and is every bit as frustrating.

As with every other challenge we have had to face, we will continue to hope and pray that one day soon, this battle too will be won.