Looking For an Answer

The last day or two have been somewhat of a struggle both physically and mentally. I suppose that should be expected for being less than 4 weeks after surgery, but it is still a little frustrating. The pain seems to have leveled off, and the discomfort from my open wounds are still lingering. Both of these have combined for two nights of little to no sleep. But it goes beyond the physical struggles.
There is a very simple question that many people who are faced with a life threatening illness ask themselves while they are dealing with the challenges of being sick; "Why me?"
I never asked myself that question while dealing with the side effect of liver failure and waiting for the transplant. I just never see the point in asking the question. I could have just as easily asked "Why not me?"
The strange thing is that I find myself asking that simple question now, after the transplant. Why me? Why am I so lucky and so blessed to have received not one but two life saving transplants? Why have I been given this third chance at life, when there are so many other people who don't get that chance? These are the question that I have been asking in my prayers several times the last few days.
My wife and I have both been blessed to have survived multiple life threatening illnesses. We both thank God every day for these chances we have been given. Now we wonder how to best use these opportunities that have been given to us.
As I lay down tonight, the same two questions will undoubtedly run laps in my head. Why have I been given this extra chance? What am I supposed to do with this chance to take full advantage of it?